A Series of Blogs devoted to Amazon Culture – Exploring the Jungle of Narcissism by L.K. Cook

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things,
    and desperately wicked.
    Who really knows how bad it is?
But I, the Lord, search all hearts
    and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due rewards,
    according to what their actions deserve.”

Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT

I don’t have friends. I have relational acquaintances. On social media I have hundreds of “friends” but the reality is, none of them actually know me and I have no idea what really makes them tick or who they really are. I’m pretty much oblivious to their likes and dislikes and I’m also clueless as to what motivates them. What’s worse is that I literally know very little about their personal lives. Sadly, they are just as guilty as I am regarding their ignorance of my life. Welcome to the relational plight of the Amazon Culture.

For someone to actually be a true friend, you have to spend considerable time together, share similar interests, mutually embrace a common bond, and actively engage in lively, open, and honest communication. A communication that is pursued through the lens of understanding, not one of self-righteous judgement.

The language of friendship requires a vast amount of energy, commitment, devotion, time, and both frivolous as well as, thought-provoking dialogue. Notice I said dialogue not monologue! I have had way too many relationships where they resembled a one-sided conversation that was more of a lecture rather than a two-way exchange. For the most part, dialogues are nearly an extinct form of human interaction. Active listening has also gone the way of the Dodo bird, at least for the majority of relationships. For a friendship to grow and prosper it requires a mutual understanding focused on caring and sharing. If the truth be told, at least from my personal experience - true friends are an extremely rare commodity as the world has digressed from the relational premise of caring or sharing for anything other than personal gain and/or self-promotion.

So, you might ask, “Well what about your circle of friends at church or at work?” What I discovered after more than sixty years of regularly attending church, and more than fifty years of working in various jobs including a career in education and a rather long stint of working in church ministries, friendships in those environments are situational. They seldom mature into a deep, purposeful, mutual relationship of sharing, caring and actively displaying true concern. I can say with confidence that nearly every relationship developed within those confines is nothing more than a friendship of circumstance or convenience. Simply stated, they are most likely described as a professional acquaintance.

Within the church setting more often than not, you’ll discover the sad and rather hypocritical reality that your “family of faith” is solely based on what you can do; how much time and energy you can devote; where you can serve their adopted ministry goals; and how much money you can donate to fund their self-defined mission. That is exactly how my personal value and worth was defined within multiple church congregations with whom I have been associated over the decades. These types of relationships are often defined through your devotion to the collective cause and purpose of the institution: Not their devotion to you. If you stop serving, giving, or supporting their mission, you’ll probably be quickly ostracized from the so-called-family. I refer to these types of relationships as simply religious affiliations in many church bodies.

Nearly all friendships have fallen prey to the ills of the Amazon Culture. The underlying premise of this culture is founded on fear. This fear perpetuates human isolation as it hinders our ability to engage in meaningful relationships. The sad outcome for anyone operating out of relational fear is the tendency to keep everyone at an arms-length, ultimately withdrawing into your own personal dungeon of isolation. It’s dangerous to get too close, or open up too much for anyone to get a glimpse of the most intimate details of your personal life, including your thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes, and aspirations. In fact, within the confines of the modern narcissistic world of woke culture, it’s downright dangerous. Amazon folks are looking for reasons to be offended. They have bought into the toxic mindset that they have the right to judge, critique, ridicule, and condemn you for every careless word that you have ever spoken, or questionable decision or action you have ever committed. The big lie of cancel culture is that others are entitled to question your very existence while ignoring the toxic abuse spewing forth from their attitudes, actions, and denigrating words of self-righteous superiority. This has resulted in most relationships becoming frivolous, facades that a woke-generation creates to control and manipulate their victims for their own personal, selfish gain and ambition. Simply stated, friendships developed through the lens of the Amazon culture are merely skin-deep and are intended for devious purposes.

The shadow cast upon an individual’s heart because of this modern mindset contradicts the very essence of human nature. We were created for fellowship. Not for isolation. Humanity requires community. This shadow of darkness covering modern relationships is founded on the principle of evil intent and leads to death. Not just relational loss, but the total demise of the individual soul. I’ve never had a close friend who didn’t end up deserting me in my darkest times, or stab me in the back when they didn’t get their way, or throw me to the curb when I was no longer of service or value to address their twisted desires or selfish needs. There is a remedy to the Amazon plight that so readily confronts us in this modern age. Although, most people aren’t interested in hearing about the antidote. But since I have the cure, I can’t help but share it with others who are feeling isolated and all alone. I have developed a profound relationship with a friend who is closer than a brother.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 NIV

The only friend that has carried me through the ups and downs of this worldly existence truly is the only reason I’m still here on this earth. Literally, He walks with me and He talks with me throughout the entirety of every, single day. Sadly, I’m the one who doesn’t always listen or heads off on a tangent trying to make things work under my own power and might. But when the futility of my effort finally humbles my arrogant independence, I’m reminded that He is the only friend who is and will continue to be closer than a brother. Whenever I seek out His wisdom and guidance things always work out for the good. And with it, I find a peace that lets me know He’s right there beside me. If you’re like me, you have only experienced abandonment, rejection, betrayal, and abuse from the folks you considered to be some type of a friend. So, do what I have, and put all your trust in the friendship that is offered through God’s only begotten Son. You’ll never have a friend like the one you’ll find in Jesus!

“This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another.

John 15:12-17 NASB1995

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